Earl Finds a Poorly Made youtube Video and Butchers it…

Source: http://youtube.com/


“Artist”: dejuanp


So, where to start? The dark room in which you filmed this masterpiece. Lemme guess: in your basement where you think your mom can’t hear you? She totally hears every word, Dejuanp. And her only refuge is drowning out your noise by sobbing herself to sleep. But back to the basement:

Why would you pick the darkest room in the house to film in? You don’t have a lamp down there? Then again, judging by the exposed light switch, illumination isn’t high on the priority list. Movie-making 101, lighting is key. You know what else they stress in that class:

Tripods: In the biz, they call them sticks, legs, or pods. But here’s what they DON’T call them: “forget the tripod; I’ll just use my arm.” You couldn’t set the camera down on a shelf next to the laundry detergent and dryer sheets? Going “hand-held” doesn’t refer to shooting yourself with the camera. And speaking of cameras…

What is that, an oatmeal canister with a pinhole? Oh, wait, couldn’t be; those need light. The last time I saw footage this shitty, three masked men decapitated an American soldier. New rule: No youtube posts made with cell phone cameras.

Okay, onto the performance. I’m not going to get into the costume. But unless you’re a school bus patrol officer, or you lay cones down on the highway before the night crew comes in, lose the florescent orange vest.

The “acting” isn’t that bad, I guess. But I lost a lot of the power of your delivery in the overall embarrassment I felt for you as I squirmed through this atrocity you call a video. And I’m not quite sure what you were trying to achieve here. I mean, I’m no casting agent, but here’s something I’m guessing that NONE of them say all the time: “I’m just digging through youtube looking for the next Brando.”

Here’s the thing, Dejaunp. I can find the real scene on youtube. In fact, that’s what I was looking for before I walked out in front of this train wreck. Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall playing different characters in different costumes with a production budget is awesome. You in the basement with a camera and some ear buds (why the ear buds, Dejaunp, why the earbuds?) licks my balls. Seriously.

I especially loved the end of the video where… okay, I’m totally lying. I couldn’t get through thirty seconds of this thing.

And for those you who have never seen Coming to America and are all, “I didn’t think Dejaunp, was thaaat bad,” here’s what the scene is supposed to look like.


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