True.

Before there was TMZ, there was Earl the Butcher, sifting through all of the celebrity gossip and urban wives thingies.  Here are ten of the top celebrity rumors I heard back in the day:

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Mike Deez Nutz

Mike D Died

I was in fifth grade when this one broke.  For those of you too young to remember the Beastie Boys back then, let me make this comparison: Hip Hop losing Mike D would be like if the ’99 Lakers lost Travis Knight.  It hit the community hard.  Of course, they revived him just before Paul’s Botique, thus, “I’m Mike D and I’m back from the dead.”

Rumor: TRUE

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ScreechMike D and Screech are Brothers

I was a little older when this one broke.  Mike D had died a few years back.  Then somebody finally made the connection:

Michael Diamond and Dustin Diamond are related. And it checks out.  Turns out they were the offspring of a couple named Neil and Blood.

Rumor: TRUE

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Another Rumor: Madonna Adopts Third World Baby and its Diet

Madonna Peed on her Athletes’ Foot

I didn’t want to believe this one when it surfaced; unfortunately it’s absolutely true.

In related news, I told my wife I had Athletes’ Chest.  Turns out she still doesn’t believe the rumor.

Rumor: TRUE

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Eddie MurphyEddie Murphy Picked Up a Man, Baby

Eddie Murphy, who dropped the word “faggot” a combined 54 times in Delirious and Raw, and did a whole set on how much pussy he gets, picked up a tranny prostitute?  No way.  Oh, yes way.  It happened.  Eddie pulled up the skirt and a different kind of “big brown shark came.”

Rumor: TRUE

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Richard Gere Stuck a Gerbil Up His Bunghole

Gere

Oh, totally true.  A friend of mine’s aunt is a nurse at the emergency room in Missouri where Cindy Crawford rushed him after it happened.  The gerbil was shaved bare, declawed, and nicknamed “an Officer.”

Rumor: TRUE

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Walt DisneyWalt Disney was Cryogenicaly Frozen

This one seems almost too mundane to even be a rumor.  He is indeed frozen in a chamber buried underneath Magic Kingdom.  The part that is in question is whether execs really woke him up for a screening of the rough cut of Tron.  I doubt it.

Rumor: TRUE

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Mikey Likes ItrMikey Likes It Blew His Stomach Out

Pop Rocks + Pepsi + an Almost-Was-But-Never-Will-Be talent = Exploded stomach ≠ False.

Rumor: TRUE

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MJEvery Michael Jackson Story You’ve Ever Heard

He sleeps in an hyperbaric chamber, speaks in a normal voice when no one is around, bought the Elephant Man’s skull, suffers from vitiligo and called it Splitsville once and for all with Macaulay Culkin  All true.  Every last one of them.

Rumor: TRUE

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Jamie Lee

Jamie Lee Curtis is a Hermaphrodite

JLC ’s got more junk in the front than she does in the trunk.  Freak.

Rumor: TRUE

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You Can't Reach What Isn't There

Marilyn Manson Removed a Rib So He Could Suck His Joint

Fo Shizzle: Marilyn did it.  The man underwent a 30k surgery so he could service his own iPud.  Who knew it was just a simple rib standing between me, third base and me?  Brutal.

Rumor: TRUE